A Proper Guinness and Monopolies Are Bad

[00:00:05] Speaker A: The history behind Guinness's pouring process. And is it necessary? [00:00:09] Speaker B: Monopolies are bad for craft beer. [00:00:11] Speaker A: Mmm. Kai San Antonio brewery. Tired of dealing with the shit your kid put them through? This is. [00:00:17] Speaker B: It's all beer. [00:00:25] Speaker A: It. [00:00:25] Speaker B: Welcome to it's all beer. The real reason that Kate Middleton has been missing, or was missing for a little while. We weren't involved, but we understand she was partying with a thousand beer guy in London, and it turned that they turned this podcast into a drinking game. And some hangovers are just that bad. Coincidentally, this is episode 152, the exact numbers of beers she. Exact number of beers she had that night. I'm Jeremy Jones. [00:00:47] Speaker A: Butt chugged them all. I'm Tyler Zimmerman. [00:00:52] Speaker B: Check yourself into the Tower of London right now. [00:00:57] Speaker A: Funny enough, I'll be in London this summer. [00:01:00] Speaker B: Really? [00:01:01] Speaker A: Yep. [00:01:02] Speaker B: You'll have to say hi to Scotland. You'll have to say hi to the thousand. He's not in London. I forget where. The thousand beer guy. Basically the british equivalent of Boise, I think. Just some backwater where you can safely get away with destroying your liver on social media. How are you doing today? [00:01:24] Speaker A: Oh, pretty good. Slow week in the beer news, though. [00:01:28] Speaker B: A little bit, yeah. But way to really prop up the opening of this podcast, Tyler fucking Tyler. Short timer syndrome. Bunch of crap. Thanks for tuning in. [00:01:48] Speaker A: Thanks for putting up with our bullshit. [00:01:50] Speaker B: I got about another two of these before. I don't have to do it anymore. You want beer nose? Here's fucking the Beer Street Journal. And fine pear. Now go fuck yourselves. [00:02:05] Speaker A: And it comes with less profanity. [00:02:09] Speaker B: What are you drinking today? [00:02:12] Speaker A: I am drinking sockeye's single hop pale ale with azaka hops. [00:02:19] Speaker B: And how is it? [00:02:21] Speaker A: Really good. Lemony, kind of a little slight. Grassy. Very bright fruit, but not necessarily, like, citrusy. [00:02:37] Speaker B: I was so excited when my Hayden rep asked me how many of the cases of this beer that I wanted. Ivan the terrible is back from. Yes. So it's bourbon barrel aged Ivan the Terrible. 19. Two in a kick ass can. The artwork itself is, like, worth the price of admission, I guess. [00:03:14] Speaker A: I'm used to seeing it when I'm up working in Montana, so. I thought you had seen the cans before. [00:03:22] Speaker B: My name's Tyler. I get out of Boise sometimes, and I see beer that's not available here, so your passe enthusiasm for a cool beer can is below me. That's you. That's what you sound like. [00:03:37] Speaker A: I do got to say, your shirt is super cool. [00:03:40] Speaker B: Oh, thank you. [00:03:42] Speaker A: I dig this shit out of it. [00:03:44] Speaker B: I picked up this shirt as long as I'm plugging breweries. I picked up this shirt at basically, if you can imagine. I don't know, maybe I'll get a. [00:03:56] Speaker A: Farmer with his wife and he's holding the pitchfork. [00:04:00] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like that old farmer's wife with the pitchfork, except for the farmer is barley. Maybe I'll grab a pick up. Maybe while Tyler's blabbing on about whatever he's doing, I'll snap a picture of me with the beer and the t shirt and you can get a full visual experience of a cool shirt, a cool can and a man who's wasting his life. [00:04:21] Speaker A: Who's the one wasting their life? [00:04:26] Speaker B: Good point. [00:04:27] Speaker A: That is the mystery. [00:04:29] Speaker B: Tyler, do you want to get us started today? [00:04:32] Speaker A: Yeah. So we actually have a couple updates to kind of start off with. First of all, got to give a shout out to Ben. Thank you for if you listened, a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about the beer and shot specials. Well, Ben listened to that the other day when he was driving to McCall and texted me and said, I must be one of them degenerates because I like doing the beer and shot specials. And he has a former coworker and friend that lives over in Philly and is a bartender. And so he sent me the screenshot that he sent them and goes, can you confirm or deny that Philly has a, quote, city special, a PBR and gym beam for $4, asking for a podcast buddy. [00:05:21] Speaker B: And what did you find out? [00:05:23] Speaker A: Here is the quote. It's called a citywide, which I think that's what the article called it, something like that. And it varies place to place. But the original citywide was made at Bob and Barbara's, which the article mentioned. And it's a $2 shot of Jim Beam and a dollar PBR. Twelve ounce can. [00:05:48] Speaker B: Any bar in Philly. [00:05:52] Speaker A: From the sounds of it, if you go into any bar in Philly and ask for a citywide, you're going to get a shot and a beer, varying in price. Most likely going to be Jim Beam and PBR. [00:06:06] Speaker B: Or I mean rolled out into the street and kicked in the face. It is Philly, but you might get both. [00:06:15] Speaker A: Either way, you're having a great time for $4. [00:06:20] Speaker B: I feel like the kick to the face is going to be more because then they rob you. But all right, now you know how to drink like a local in Philly. [00:06:31] Speaker A: Yeah, on the same update train was it last week we talked about the cold beer ban Tennessee was trying to do. [00:06:41] Speaker B: It was indeed perfect. [00:06:44] Speaker A: Well, there changes have been made and it's close to being passed. So the bill, SB 2636, HB 2845, passed in the Senate Tuesday, March 5 and is recommended for passing in the House on Wednesday. So by the time this podcast comes out, it may be passed and ready to get signed into law. But there has been a few changes. The proposed legislation previously had a person or entity holding a beer permit was banned from selling refrigerated or cold beer at retail. Now, all language that prevents the sale of cold beer in Tennessee has been removed from the law after the blowback that they received. And just teasing, really. [00:07:52] Speaker B: It's democracy at work when just being roasted over a dumb idea is enough to make you go, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean you couldn't drink cold beer. [00:08:03] Speaker A: Just. [00:08:03] Speaker B: I thought you should love Jesus some. [00:08:06] Speaker A: Uh huh. So the bill will require the Tennessee impaired driving council, which could you imagine being on that council in? [00:08:19] Speaker B: I don't. I don't know why Tennessee would be appreciably worse than about half the states in the union. As far as people getting ripped on cheap beer and trying to pilot a death machine, I feel like it'd be middle of the road if I was going to. [00:08:38] Speaker A: You got to think Nashville is also, like, the largest spot in the United States for bachelor and bachelorette parties right now. [00:08:47] Speaker B: Is it really? [00:08:48] Speaker A: Yep. [00:08:49] Speaker B: That's where people like, when people are searching, when people are sitting back going, I'm about to make a lifelong commitment to this person I love. Where, oh, where in the world shall I go to celebrate my last night of debaucherous freedom? Nashville comes to mind, specifically the bachelorette party. [00:09:11] Speaker A: It is number one. [00:09:14] Speaker B: I fundamentally do not understand bacheloretes parties. I guess I figured they included, like, a veil with little plastic peni and jello shots. I didn't realize that. [00:09:27] Speaker A: I mean, why would those things not be available in Nashville? [00:09:33] Speaker B: I guess I fundamentally don't understand Nashville either. [00:09:37] Speaker A: There's a huge road with a lot of bars on. It all highly sucks. [00:09:44] Speaker B: That's what it comes down to. The music is just God awful. What says bachelorette party like, just nonstop music at bars going, my dog died and I beat up the woman and then she beat me up, and then we all went driving and died in a ditch. That's country music for me. That's what it sounds like. [00:10:08] Speaker A: You're just not listening to the right country music. [00:10:12] Speaker B: I don't listen to any country music for that reason. But also, if you want that album, Jeremy sings country music. I'm going to have it on Spotify that'd be amazing. Just me in front of a microphone saying just random, horrible things in that. [00:10:31] Speaker A: So. But back to the article before Jeremy tries to sing again. So, the impaired driving council will have to develop a report about impaired driving in Tennessee and include recommendations to decrease drunk driving deaths. So, basically, a whole lot of political maneuvering since the guy who proposed the original bill realized he fucked up, right? [00:11:03] Speaker B: Well, I don't know what he thinks a council is going to do to prevent drunk driving deaths, but it's going to be exactly as effective as making sure that when people are drunk, they're doing so on room temperature beer. [00:11:22] Speaker A: But have no fear, Tennesseeans, you can still buy cold beer. [00:11:27] Speaker B: I mean, that's what's most important, that you absolutely shouldn't drink and drive. But if you're going to do that anyway, you might as well have a cold one. [00:11:38] Speaker A: Wow. It's all beer does not endorse drinking and driving. [00:11:44] Speaker B: I said that at the beginning. I said that at the beginning. But it seems like your last beer before careening off a bridge into a void. Being a room temperature beer, that's cruel and unusual. [00:12:01] Speaker A: Well, Jeremy, now that we've got the updates out of the way, what do you got? [00:12:07] Speaker B: Monopolies are still bad news. Now, actually, some good news on this front. So, in October 2022, Kroger announced that they were buying Albertsons, the dirty, dirty harlot of the grocery world. Seriously, this company has been in bed with more corporations than a drunken senator. They did their best to placate the FTC, which is adorable, because the FTC's interest in antitrust law is roughly equivalent to my interest in football, in that I recognize it's a thing, but it's not something I have the time, the motivation to give a shit about. Washington and Colorado did give a shit, however, and they filed lawsuits to block the deal in February. Then, and only then, could the FTC be bothered to lift their nacho infused asses off the couch, pant for a few minutes, and decided to do their jobs and filed a complaint with the Oregon federal district Court in hopes of blocking the deal. Now, what does this have to do with craft beer? Well, unless you have no idea how people buy beer at all, you probably have some idea where this is going. And for the rest of you, welcome to it's all beer. This is a podcast about buying and selling beer, which I don't know how to catch you up exactly, but Google how money works and go from there. Also, fun fact, if you google how money works, you'll find out from the Reserve bank of Australia that rum used to be used as a currency, which I think you'll agree is a better system. I think we should go back to it. It makes as much logical sense as crypto, with the added bonus of being both real and useful by itself. [00:13:44] Speaker A: Hey, bitcoin just hit its all time high recently. [00:13:47] Speaker B: I read about that. That is not proof of anything, except for how stupid people are. Dave Infante points out in a vine pair article that this deal was exceptionally bad for craft beer, and thus even the stalling is good news, especially if it kills the deal altogether. He basically notes that a couple of things would happen in the face of a new, more powerful grocery giant, that between them and Walmart, would control 70% of the total grocery business. First, bigger and more powerful buyers get to dictate the terms, which is to say the fattest kid on the playground gets to make the rules. At the moment, about 30% to 40% of all off premise craft beer goes to a grocery store with effectively two players in that market. In most situations, they'll demand lower costs on their part, and, spoiler alert, they won't be passing on the savings to the customer. No, you'll pay more money. But that doesn't matter, because most Americans are too dumb to pin the blame on their corporate masters and instead use it as justification for whatever partisan belief they have rammed through their eyes through the television America. You'll pay to know what you really think. Anyway, the point. I got a few more episodes where I get my anti corporatism out in the world, so I'm taking advantage of it. [00:15:24] Speaker A: Well, also, coming from a brewery perspective, as someone who's had to do the paperwork for both of these corporations, my God, the paperwork for fucking Kroger. And Fred Meyer is the most miserable fucking ones of them all. Like Alberton's fucking light years easier than Kroger. Kroger is the most pain in the ass, backward fucking paperwork to fucking do. Unnecessarily difficult. So I'm kind of rooting it doesn't just. So I hopefully don't just only have to do Kroger paperwork. [00:16:13] Speaker B: Can I quote you on that? Can I package that sound bite up, send it to the CEO of Kroger? Be like, this is no, this is what a beer buyer thinks of your paperwork. And he'll probably, huh, our paperwork's not nearly odorous enough. Make more of it. The point is that a monopoly is bad for customers, but also be bad for craft beer producers, especially the small local ones who will be forced to sell their product for less, just to have a chance for a spot on the shelves at all, never mind being buried under needless forms. For some reason, and as became apparent during the pandemic, craft beer is already ill suited to survive on supermarket margins. Craft beer, being a craft product, is consequently not built to compete over larger producers that can just line up a herd of Clydesdales, let them do a waz into a bottling line, package it by the truckloads, and do that several times every second. And then I just want to say, it feels comforting to be doing a budweiser is made out of horse piss joke again. It feels like it's been too long since I just got to infer that their product is nothing but a repackaged horse urine. We should never forget that. Anyway, for a lot of breweries, packaged beer was pretty much a form of advertising for all the money it brought in. Especially when you factor in the cost of the packaging itself. [00:17:46] Speaker A: I mean, basically when you buy a six pack, you're paying for everything that goes around the beer, not the beer. [00:17:53] Speaker B: The beer is a bonus. Enjoy your for a but the point is ab and Bev, Molson Kors, even sad Adams and the Kieran consortium of New Belgium and bells can eat lower margins, especially if it gives them more space on the shelves. It's harder for smaller guys, and that's if they're even considered at all, because a grocery conglomerate does not want to fuck with a bunch of small independent producers. Probably that's where the paperwork comes in, just on hopes that a few of the smaller ones will just get the gigantic folder and go, this ain't fucking worth it, and throw it away. [00:18:36] Speaker A: Well, also, Albertson's always been pretty far ahead of Kroger in the category management space of having it in house, where Kroger's always kind of outsourced it. And so that's been one concern, I know, at least for some of the breweries here locally, is Alberton's always been so mean. They're focused on category management and growing their sets and offering a diverse lineup, and so they make it a little easier for the smaller people to get in. And so if that goes away and it's just through Kroger, it's going to be so much more difficult for the smaller people as well as you'll still see the small people in, especially on the regional set levels. But say goodbye to seeing end caps with local beer or floor stacks in the produce section or other parts of the store where you're seeing a stack of beer highlighting it. Those displays are going to be more geared towards the people that are across 50 states and can fill out the one paperwork to cover all the nation. It's in every Fred Meyer, Kroger, Smith's, whatever, and they all have the same beers being displayed on end caps and everything. [00:20:04] Speaker B: As someone for whom those displays were the absolute bane of my existence for the almost three years I spent there, I don't think I actually, come to think of it, I'm not sure I crossed two years. But anyway, those displays were like my own personal sisafician. Rock. Do they actually matter to a smaller brewery? Because it seemed like a lot of work for absolutely no discernible purpose. [00:20:39] Speaker A: Yes. Outside of just factoring in the initial bump you get from getting that on, it does send a message to the customers that, especially if it's a newer product, having it featured somewhere like that, the more times a customer sees it around the store, in different spots outside of the aisle it's dedicated to, the more it reinforces to that customer that, hey, this is a good product. If it wasn't a good product, the store wouldn't be promoting it in this stack. [00:21:15] Speaker B: That's a lot bigger. [00:21:20] Speaker A: It is, but subconsciously, that's what it triggers regardless. [00:21:26] Speaker B: I know, I get it, but it's like, oh, if you're going in there thinking, oh, Albertsons must approve of that product. They approve of the money they got in some fields. [00:21:42] Speaker A: And the bigger the display, usually, the more it reinforces that. That's why there's the saying in fucking grocery stores, displays stack it high and watch it fly, because the bigger the display, the more likely it's going to boost the rate of sale. And even if you don't sell a ton on that initial display, and you have that display up for a couple of weeks, and then it comes down, or a month, and then it comes down, you'll notice that rate of sale bump even continue when it's just back on its normal place on the shelf. Because now they went from seeing it around these couple of spots, and now when they're standing at the beer aisle looking to make a purchase, they're like, oh, you know what? I've been wanting to try that, and they'll grab it. [00:22:33] Speaker B: It wasn't beer as much, but I just remember they'd want to do these huge displays for wine that we didn't sell. I mean, we sold it, but we sold barely any of it. So we'd have to order God knows how many cases of wine that barely sold and we make a display and it, at least on our side, didn't do much. And so then we just had upwards of 15 cases of a wine that we didn't sell. But that's just me. The point is, and there's going to be variants. [00:23:09] Speaker A: Store to store. [00:23:10] Speaker B: Yeah. The performance of a product at one store, especially one that really didn't do a lot of wine sales, it's hardly indicative of the overall effectiveness of it. The point is that. But Tyler is right. Even if customers want more variety on the shelves and would be willing to spend the money on local craft beer, a conglomerate of size is just not incentivized to respond to the customer will. Because what are you going to do? Go to another grocery store? I mean, Walmart is the same way. [00:23:51] Speaker A: It's even worse to work with. [00:23:53] Speaker B: Yeah, we own your ass, so drink your corporate swill like a good little monkey. So, with all that in mind. [00:24:04] Speaker A: What. [00:24:04] Speaker B: Are the chances that this goes through? Well, again, the challenge is coming from three directions. Colorado, Washington and Oregon. It's hard to say how any of these lawsuits will go on their own, but all three of them would need to go Kroger's way in order for the merger to happen at this point in time. Is that likely? Well, the last one in Oregon was just filed through nine attorneys general. [00:24:32] Speaker A: That. [00:24:32] Speaker B: Have signed onto the lawsuit. So there seems to be a significant pushback. It's worth keeping an eye on if you're on the smaller end of the scale, grease yourself up just in case, because it could be a bumpy ride. [00:24:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I honestly don't think it's going to go through, especially with the JetBlue Virgin Airlines deal just getting shut down recently. Federally, I think it's going to kind of run that same course. [00:25:01] Speaker B: If I was being asked to put money on it, I think I'm right. I think I'd put money on the side at this point in time that it doesn't go down, but never. I mean, if Anheuser or Abev's pulling out of the craft beer alliance deal and then buying it up later for a significant discount tells me anything, it's that never underestimate the power of corporate bastardry. Will this deal go through as it is right this second? I think the chances are slim. But they don't pay their lawyers obscene amounts of money for nothing. They may just be able to dump a few stores or tweak some language or something and something just. [00:25:57] Speaker A: They'll have to dump more stores because they already in this current as it sits right now, we're going to offload 400 stores to Piggly Wiggly. [00:26:09] Speaker B: Piggly Wiggly is still a thing? [00:26:11] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:26:13] Speaker B: I don't go to the south because I've never once had sex with my cousins. [00:26:20] Speaker A: That's a lie. [00:26:22] Speaker B: No, I don't go to the south. Wait, did he just admit to. Anyway, Tyler, what do you have? [00:26:38] Speaker A: Since St. Patty's day is fast approaching, and every year everyone decides that's the one day a year they want to drink the bastardized stout that is Guinness. [00:26:49] Speaker B: I hear that's what people drink. I recommend against it. [00:26:54] Speaker A: Well, I figured we'd hop into the history and is it really necessary, the whole process of the proper pour of Guinness and kind of the whole allure behind it? It's an article by vine pair where they talk to longtime Guinness ambassador Ryan Wagner, who estimates about 90% of american bartenders know that if a customer orders a pint of Guinness, that there's something different they should do. Most of them don't know exactly what they should do, but they know they're supposed to do something. [00:27:31] Speaker B: I like the idea there's probably some shit. So I'll just make them wait a little bit longer. Make them think I did it. [00:27:38] Speaker A: Yeah. And if you're like, who the fuck is this Ryan Wagner? He is the head of marketing and brand partnerships for Guinness Opengate Brewery out of Chicago. So he did say about half. No, that it's a two part pour where you tilt the 20 ounce tulip to a 45 degree angle beneath the tap and let the 42.8 degree beer cascade down the side, aiming for the golden harp until it's three quarters full. Now you allow it to settle for 86 seconds, then top it off, yielding the perfect pint of dry irish stout in 119.5 seconds. [00:28:26] Speaker B: I want to believe you're making up those numbers, like, the seconds, but that was a direct. [00:28:34] Speaker A: I read that paragraph verbatim. [00:28:42] Speaker B: It gives me a special feeling in my heart that somebody somewhere, either because he personally thought it was important to note or because somebody above him wanted him to make this shit up, but was sitting there with a stopwatch going 91, 92. It's all fucked up now. [00:29:04] Speaker A: Yeah. I did know that the proper pour of Guinness was supposed to take two minutes, so 120 seconds. He then said, as for the rest, a vast array of things are going to happen. Depending what they've heard, they might know to tilt the glass at 45, or they're open the tap halfway till it creates the creamy head, or they'll pour the beer in two or three, even four parts. Or they'll let it settle for a varying stretch of time, or they'll fill it in one go till it resembles basically a root beer float. They'll thud it on the bar to settle the bubbles like a sheet tray of macaron butter. But what is the point? And I've always wondered. I always figured it was basically just a stupid marketing ploy to try. Like, first time you see a wendy's fucking square hamburger patty, you're like, oh, that's just a stupid thing. It actually, if you dig in, has a little bit of backstory that makes sense. So, as most people know, Guinness was the first beer to served on nitrogen, meaning its pressurized kegs are a mix of 75% nitrogen and 25% carbon dioxide. More and more breweries are starting to do this as well as coffee, so nitro is becoming more and more available. Most people have an idea what it is, and Guinness is kind of just being forgotten outside of fucking St. Patty's day. But the tried and true Guinness diehards want to see that process and are so loyal to it. Ryan Wagoner says, if you pour a pint of Guinness in one part instead of two, it's going to change the way it tastes, the way it smells, the way it looks. [00:31:18] Speaker B: It's going to change the way it probably changed the way it looks, but it's not going to prevent it from tasting like, what would happen is if you could somehow burn water. [00:31:29] Speaker A: Yes, he does say that it'll have a slight difference, but not very noticeably, especially if you know what you're doing, and especially if you make sure to take care of the other aspects of the beer before the act of the pour. But the reason behind the two pour process is, until the 1950s, Guinness was stored in two separate wooden casks, one under high pressure and one under low pressure. So it had to be poured carefully to yield the picture perfect pint. So Guinness Brewer and mathematician Michael Ash knew nitrogen and beer had smaller, more delicate bubbles that wouldn't break surface tension like co2 will, and cause the beer to foam over. So he developed an easy pour nitrogenated dispensing system, enabling one single keg to replace the two wooden casks in 1959 and basically deeming the two part pour of Guinness unnecessary. But Guinness was then posed with a problem. Do you go out and tell all these, no, no, you don't need to do that. Just. Just pour the beer like you're doing it wrong after they've been pouring it for all these years. This specific way. You've done all that education to get them to pour it this way, and now you're going to go back to tell them and be like, don't worry about it anymore, guys. You're good. [00:33:29] Speaker B: So what I'm hearing is the reason it's important to do the two part pour of Guinness is roughly for the same reason that it's roughly for the. [00:33:44] Speaker A: Same sell our closet and fucking chalice, basically. [00:33:49] Speaker B: Well, not even that. It's just because, listen, it's easier than trying to get an old man to do something different. And I understand this. I understand this dealing with my father. It's easier just to go, you know what you do? You, buddy. Than to say, no, you don't have to do it. That things have changed. Yes, I know. Change is bad. All change is bad. Yeah, I understand. That's laser some space, but no, you only need to port, you know what? Port twice. Port twice. It's literally worth it to me to watch you do it wrong than it is. It's worth more than my time, is worth more to me than dealing with your horseshit. 100 years later, we're still doing that. [00:34:31] Speaker A: Janice decided, well, we're not going to tell them they need to change it doesn't really change the beer to pour it twice or to pour it once. So why don't we kind of lean into the showmanship of pouring it twice? So they developed a whole training protocol, a step by step guide, special handles ad campaigns, and really just kind of leaned in and doubled down on the two part pour. And there are plenty of diehards that say allowing the beer time to settle makes for a denser, creamier beer. [00:35:15] Speaker B: And I think a lesson in why so many things are fucked up, because not only is it easier to just let the old guys to continue to do it wrong now, but you might as well go ahead and teach the young guys how to do it wrong, too. So they don't actually tell the old guys that they're doing it wrong. It's just easier. And that's how you make tradition. [00:35:38] Speaker A: Yes, marketing. There are arguments in the article, talks about depending where you're from, some people do the two part. Some people were trained that it's a three part or a four part. But Ryan Wagoner does say the official Guinness stance is it is a two part pour, and if you don't do it, the pour is probably the least important of the elements to a good pint of Guinness. He said most of what can go wrong happens before the liquid comes out of the tap mile journey can be ruined in the last inch and a. [00:36:22] Speaker B: Half, but most of what already went wrong actually happened at the brewery. [00:36:29] Speaker A: He said. The big things they need to focus on are, is the beer stored at the right temperature? Are draft lines and steel restrictor plates cleaned? Which. That should be a fucking question. Every brewery, fucking, like, every bar, restaurant, tap room brewery says proudly, like, our draft lines are clean, maintained. Like, here's the last time they were clean. Be proud of that shit. Are the glasses washed and well dry? Are the kegs fresh? Fresh beer is also something places should openly call out. Like. [00:37:08] Speaker B: I can't imagine the Guinness would taste much different, red, worse, aging for a significant amount of time. [00:37:18] Speaker A: Oh, no, I've never had a fresh one or a one month old one. I've never done a side by side. [00:37:26] Speaker B: Comparison to see, I feel like all the Guinness you get in this country is at least a year old because they only sell it during St. Patty's day. So it's kind of like the candy corn. That way. They don't actually make more of that shit. They just resell what they didn't sell. [00:37:49] Speaker A: Trying to get through the initial batch. [00:37:52] Speaker B: They sent a whole boatload of that garbage here back in 1884, and they're still working their way through it. [00:37:58] Speaker A: They finally got through the wooden kegs, but they did ask him, where is the closest thing to a perfect pint you can find? And he always mentions the iconic Dublin pub. John Kavanaugh, aka the gravediggers. It's a pub established in 1833, sits on the eastern edge of the gals Nevin cemetery and the residential. [00:38:29] Speaker B: Yeah, Glenn's Nevin. [00:38:32] Speaker A: Glenn's Nevin. Nevin. [00:38:39] Speaker B: I just saw the look of horror on your face. I'm like, two things came to mind. Like, oh, shit, he just reached an irish word. And this is going to be one of the few opportunities where he's not going to know how to pronounce it, but I actually might. And you didn't do bad. You're pretty close. [00:39:01] Speaker A: So it's in the prospect square neighborhood. He said. It's dark, loud, narrow, all weathered wood and bubbling floors. Tv and music are allowed, apparently. So much so that even if you're the chieftains, the Dubliners, and you two trying to start a spontaneous live set, you will be told no. [00:39:30] Speaker B: Did they really have to kick out the chieftains? The Dubliners, and I mean, you too. Goes without saying, but they kicked out the chieftains and the Dubliners. [00:39:41] Speaker A: How the article frames this, it sounds like it. [00:39:44] Speaker B: I know of the Dubliners that would have been a bar brawl. The Dubliners were a bar brawl that stopped every once in a while to sing a song or two. [00:39:53] Speaker A: Yeah, but they pour every pint of Guinness in two parts here. And the weight of the beer is kind of what helps make this place part of the culture. And it's the embodiment of an irish pub. So it's, according to this guy from Guinness, the best place you can find to drink a Guinness. [00:40:27] Speaker B: I've heard tell that it's better in Ireland. I cannot verify that because when I was in Ireland, I was technically not old enough to drink there. But it turns out that doesn't really matter. In Ireland, they are much less uptight about things like, oh, carding people and shit like that. And when you're 17 out abroad, it turns out that any beer is delicious enough to get absolutely off your tits. [00:41:06] Speaker A: Fair enough. Well, Jerry, what do we got next? [00:41:11] Speaker B: Let's see here. I have to find out where the hell I was. Will you parents, will you please deal with your fucking crotch? Goblins News now, I don't know about you, Tyler, but speaking as a father with a moderate to high booze habit, nothing excessive, I hold down a job, I take care of my kid, and I provide for my family. I haven't gotten blackout drunk and crossed state lines in almost a decade. Yeah, okay. But part of being connected with people enjoying life is being able to go out in public, kick back with a. And kick back with a pint or two. And the fact that breweries are not only willing but able to open their doors to families means a lot to me. It's something I try very hard not to take for granted. I understand why people get a little spiky when there's a sticky little shitling running around. And I understand when breweries elect not to allow kids, but it's hard to stress how nice it is for there to be places to grab a drink with a kid in tow. And I don't know, you and Parco go many places. [00:42:22] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, we go out to breweries occasionally, give mom a little afternoon to herself. We'll go to a brewery, we'll sit there and I'll bring a backpack full of snacks for her. I'll have a couple of beers, and then we'll head home. If she starts acting like an asshole, I treat it like any customer. If you're an asshole, you can get kicked out. She's being an asshole. We're leaving. If she's being good, maybe we'll save her another beer. I treat it like, that drunk friend that you go out with that, you know, is a ticking time bomb. Eventually, you're going to be like, oh, close me out. Got to go. But as long as they don't cause a scene, everyone's in the clear, and. [00:43:05] Speaker B: For roughly the same reason. Oh, shit. Close out. There's something vomiting over himself and peeing in his pants. [00:43:13] Speaker A: Yep. [00:43:13] Speaker B: It's just a little bit more acceptable with a three year old. So it's with that. My stories like this boggle my mind. This comes from the San Antonio Express. News by Richard A. Marini. Kunsler brewing in San Antonio has an absolutely lovely beer garden. Seriously, I was looking at some pictures of this place. I wish something like this existed in Boise. I mean, the best that you can find here was the brewery formerly known as Powder Haas. Now the tap room, the temporary tap room known as powder haas. I guess that had a little back area with some grass that I could let the kid run around in circles for a little while. But there's no brewery that has a nice backyard style garden area like a true beer garden. But this place does, and it's absolutely beautiful. They have a stage for music. There's greenery everywhere. There's even a little playground, like, with a slide and little rock climbing, like you'd get at a decent sized park. Right? Okay, so if this place was nearby, I'd be there with little one every bloody weekend. Unfortunately, some people behave like some parents and let their fucking prodigy run rampant. And it got to the point where this brewery had to issue this statement on Facebook. Dear Kunsler family, we built our beer garden with the one vision in mind to create a tranquil space where you, your family, and friends could come along, relax, enjoy our beer amongst nature's beauty. [00:45:12] Speaker A: Cheers. [00:45:12] Speaker B: Beer emoji. Branch emoji. I didn't know there was a branch emoji. Lately, our beloved beer garden has been facing some challenges. We've noted damage to the trees and plants we've carefully nurtured, and it's disheartening to see sad emoji. Every tree, every plant is carefully selected, nurtured, and cared for, making our beer garden more just a business. It's a labor of love, attestment to our passion fruit, creating an environment that resonates with warmth and joy. Heart emoji. Tree emoji. Yes, I'm going to read the emojis. We understand that children need a space to play and have fun, which is why we provided a playground. However, we kindly request you help teaching them respect and care for our green companions, just as they would for their own cherished belongings. Tree emoji, flower emoji. I'm going to pause here and say, all right, I approve of everything you're saying and doing Kunsler family brewing, but obviously you've never watched a child with his quote unquote treasured possessions. I can't speak for any other child, but my child treats his favorite toy in roughly the same fashion I treat an object that's pissed me off to the point of no return. If there is an object, God forbid. [00:46:33] Speaker A: You try to disrespect their favorite thing. It is fucking world War three. [00:46:40] Speaker B: So this is a universal thing. This is not. My child is kind of a destructive little shit thing. [00:46:47] Speaker A: Mine will throw it across the room, but then run over and hug it. And I'm like, well, at least he apologize. And then it just fucking kicks it right across the room again. And I'm like, I got nothing. [00:47:01] Speaker B: Back to the post. Regrettably, due to these recent incidents, we're compelled to implement a new policy. Any damage inflicted on our property may result in being asked to leave. We sincerely hope it never comes to this. Our beer garden is a haven, a slice of paradise in the city, and we want everyone to enjoy it while also preserving its charm. We believe in our community and know that together we can make this work. Thank you for understanding and being part of our journey. Greeting heart emoji thank you emoji. The damage, according to the article, involves plants literally being ripped out of planters, tree limbs, broken off trees, or smaller trees just snapped completely in half. [00:47:42] Speaker A: Watch your fucking child. [00:47:44] Speaker B: The strange thing is that this says they haven't had to kick anyone. They haven't had to ask anyone to leave yet. When the manager has come out and said, hey, your kid is literally ripping out our plants, you maybe want to stop them. And when they describe the manager going to people, they describe the parents response as, quote, they literally look at them and they're like, what's the problem with that? [00:48:14] Speaker A: What the fuck? Come on, parents, step up your fucking shit. You're giving the rest of us with crotch goblins who want to go have a beer piece a bad name. [00:48:24] Speaker B: We should take a moment to remind people that this is Texas, so it's not entirely surprising to find Texans not understanding the problem with wanton destruction. As I understand the concept, most Texans, as soon as they're able, are given a gun and told to shoot a think. I don't know. I only go with how Texans behave. The warning on Facebook represents what I would argue, is a herculean amount of restraint on the part of the brewery who felt that the time had come to at least warn people that they might be kicked out. Which, again, as Tyler said, fuck these people. Especially given the brewery had recently had to pay $1,500 to replace plants, including a couple of cedar maples. I think they were well within their rights to say so. First, we added those plants to your bar tab, and here it is. Pay it and get the fuck out. And take your sentient sperm sample with you. [00:49:36] Speaker A: Because the thing is, if me and my drunk buddies were the one to break a fucking tree, they're not going to just be like, yeah, can you not do that? They're going to be like, get the fuck out of my bar. [00:49:52] Speaker B: Given the language and the amount of heart and tree emojis involved in their post, they might actually. They might be like, yeah, guys, I think you're getting a little bit rowdy, so maybe just like one or two more, and then maybe think about hitting the road. Oh, you're peeing on my pants. That's just lovely. Just going from their post. But all you have to do is read the comments on this story to see how this is a problem for the rest of us. I mean, it's social media where people behave like assholes as a default setting. But still, over and over, you find people yelling about how kids should not be allowed in these spaces at all, and it's just wrong for parents to do so. And they should just leave their kids at home if they want to go out, which. Okay, great idea. Listen, you stay here in an empty house, daddy's going to go out and get shit faced. He'll be back in a couple of hours with your new mommy. [00:51:02] Speaker A: I was going to say child protective services is beating me home. [00:51:08] Speaker B: So any parent that gives credence to these uptight fuck sticks, you know what? You're out of the club. All right? First rule of brewery, parent club, control your podlings. Second rule of brewery, parent club, control your fucking podlings. A brewery is a place to relax, sure, but you still got a parent. That means watching your kid, stopping them from destroying everything, and if necessary, chugging your beer, paying your tab, getting you and your kid, and heading for the door. In fact, I'd go so far as to say, third rule, opening a tab is amateur hour, okay? Especially with young children. Meltdowns come on fast, and they are unpredictable. Pay in cash, tip well, you fuck so that if things start to take a turn, you can just down your drink and head for the door before shit gets real. In a literal sense, maybe. [00:52:00] Speaker A: Or fucking leave the drink. [00:52:04] Speaker B: Listen, chug your beer. This is real talk, all right? [00:52:10] Speaker A: I mean, if that meltdown is like 2 seconds out, you got to do what you got to do sometimes. Whatever's going to judge you for being like, no, you're done. You're causing an issue. Let's go. Every other person that is there without kids or with kids is going to go, oh, that. That's. I can really respect that move. [00:52:33] Speaker B: Like, no, you have a second to chug your drink. But my point is, whatever is about to happen, that alcohol in that glass is going to be beneficial to you as a parent. So chug the beer. Don't take your time. For the love of God, this is not the time to savor your drink going. I'm getting notes of berry and banana in a second. [00:52:58] Speaker A: Why are we getting in this random person's car? Because dad chugged a bourbon barrel aged stout. Because you were melting down. So we have to uber home now. [00:53:09] Speaker B: I mean, you probably shouldn't be so drunk that slamming a beer will be caused for an Uber. But I'm not going to tell you how to parent. Which brings me to the fourth rule of brewery parent club. You're in control, but you're not in charge. And the minute you realize that your previously docile, adorable progeny has morphed into a shitting, peeing bag of anger. Grab and go. Fifth rule. Brewery dogs are your friends. The kids entertain the dogs. The dogs entertain the kids. It's a symbiotic relationship. Buy people with a dog a beer. Embrace this. The 6th rule. Two is good. Three is fine. Ten is an invasion. Meeting up with other parents for a brew is awesome. But some parenting responsibility can kind of be spread around. But that does not negate the need for any parenting. But the joint's not a daycare. Unless that brewery is specifically designed, like, say, with a fucking playground. I still think that's amazing. To handle it, split it up a bit. 7th rule. Fights will go on as long as they have to. Which has nothing to do with brewery parent club. But it is the reality of life. It's actually reality of parenting as well. And the 8th and final rule. If you fuck up brewery parent club because you're just a negligent piece of shit, and then your brewery privileges will be revoked. And if we were living in a just society, your ability to make asshole kids would be revoked as well. Possibly with a knife. [00:54:32] Speaker A: We can't. The one thing I think you forgot. Bring snacks. How many times have you been able to quell a meltdown by pulling out a fucking bag of goldfish and being like, you want one? [00:54:44] Speaker B: And you're like, ooh, that's just good parenting. That's not restricted to breweries. If you don't understand how to prevent a meltdown. [00:54:54] Speaker A: No, but I'm saying you're going to a brewery. You plan on being there for a little while, bring more snacks than you need to keep your kid calm, quiet, and not ruining everyone else's day. [00:55:08] Speaker B: I mean, again, if you don't understand some basic mitigating features to preventing a meltdown, then maybe don't leave the house with your shitling until you figure that out. But fair enough. I don't know. Do you have any other pieces of advice that I didn't cover? [00:55:29] Speaker A: No. [00:55:30] Speaker B: Okay. [00:55:31] Speaker A: Also, for the people who aren't the parents, understand, I'm not going to be offended. Now, this just may be me. If you swear around my kid, guess what? I am bringing my child into an adult atmosphere. If they hear adult words, that is on me to make sure they know those are adult words. They can't say that. I know so many people who have brought their kids in, and someone will drop a swear word and they're like, oh, I'm so sorry. And I've known multiple parents who are like, hey, the kids are in an adult situation. They're going to hear adult words. They know they can't say it, but I'm not offended. They're not offended. Let's move on. [00:56:21] Speaker B: The funny thing was that I was in a brewery and talking with a friend of mine, and we were just sitting back shooting the shit. And every once in a while, he would drop an f bomb, and he'd go, oh, dude, I'm sorry. And I just let ego. And then he drop an f bomb. [00:56:40] Speaker A: Oh, shit. [00:56:40] Speaker B: I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that, too. I'm like, why are you apologizing to me? The funny thing was I didn't even like, why are you apologizing for swearing? What is this? He goes, your kid's right there. Oh, yeah, he fucking is. I completely forgot to come out of my mouth. I'm like, yeah, that's becoming an issue, actually. Apparently. All right, this is not really relevant, but sort of apparently. So we got some late season snow here in Boise. And thus, it was an occasion for my son and his grandmother to build a snowman in the front yard. And apparently he went to go take the traditional carrot nose, stick it into the snowman. It didn't stick. It fell onto the floor. And he looked down and said, God damn it. [00:57:33] Speaker A: Yes. [00:57:38] Speaker B: Oopsie doodle. [00:57:41] Speaker A: Well, I had to stop looking at my daughter when my wife would ask my daughter, hey, do you want this? Idos, go, say, hell, yeah. And then one day she goes, hiya. And my wife's like, did she just say hi? Yeah. She's like, do you want this? And she's like, hell, yeah. And she's like, oh, my God. She's trying to say, hell, yeah. She's like, you have to stop saying that. I was like, I'm so proud and bummed at the same time. [00:58:12] Speaker B: No, you don't. Just go ahead and roll with it. The key to childhood swearing is if you don't draw attention to the bad word, they don't understand that they can get a reaction from the bad word, so they don't understand that it's not part of regular human speech, which is my theory. So that's why if anyone asks why my four year old swearing like a drunken pirate, it's because I'm a good parrot. Tyler, what do you have for us? [00:58:43] Speaker A: Well, is it safe to drink the drags out of the bottom of a beer bottle? Yes. [00:58:50] Speaker B: All right. This has been. It's all beer. Who the fuck was looking at the bottom of beer going, I don't know about that. The rest of this thing's been fine, but that's going to kill me. [00:59:11] Speaker A: So this was an article from vine pair that said, ask a brewer, is it safe to drink the drags from beer bottles? And I was like, well, of course it is. I mean, it may not taste the best, and the taste is going to vary also by what the drags are. If it's a lot of hop sediment, yeah, it's really going to taste like shit. If it's a lot of yeast from a wild fermented ale and it's bottle conditioned and it's yeast sediment down at the bottom, yeah, it probably won't taste that bad, but it's not going to be as good as the clean beer. [00:59:52] Speaker B: I just like the idea that for some people, the anxiety. I'm a fairly anxious person, okay? I've made peace with this. It's just part of my personality. But every once in a while, I get a glimpse into how bad it could be. There's something about a segment of the population, like laughing, taking a big drink of their beer, realizing they just chugged the dregs, going, am I going to die now? [01:00:24] Speaker A: Well, there's apparently a rumor going around on Reddit that says if you drink the dregs, you're going to get the shit. [01:00:31] Speaker B: Now, this I have heard, and I've heard frequently, in fact, several references to we'll be sharing a beer and then the last person gets the drags and, well, we'll make a quick trip to the bathroom or some shit like that. I don't know where the amount of. [01:00:50] Speaker A: Dregs you would have to drink from, like wild fermented beers, is a preposterous amount. And most of the reason you're going to have the squirts is because you got the beer shits the next day. It's not that you were drinking drags, because the drags of most of those wild fermented beers have a lot of yeast in it, which has rich B vitamins, and they're not bad for your. [01:01:25] Speaker B: Yeah, you. I remembered something about the health benefits of it being mentioned in the joy of home brewing by Charlie Papazian. Yeah, he mentioned the b vitamins were actually beneficial in the event of overindulging, shall we say. Now, he claims the b vitamins help smooth over a hangover because they are part of what the body is deficient with after dealing with a herculean amount of alcohol. I don't know if that's true. I've gotten drunk a lot. I've gotten drunk on craft beer. I've gotten drunk on whiskey, tequila, mead. I've not noticed a lighter hangover, I guess, with yeastier products, but it's usually a quantity of volume anymore. And anymore, if I get even a little bit too drunk, then I'm feeling it for three days. It fucking sucks. B vitamins or no. [01:02:18] Speaker A: But if one of our listeners wants to know, yes, it is okay to drink the drags out of a bottle. It may not be the best tasting part of that beer, but it will not hurt you. [01:02:32] Speaker B: There is something to be said, especially for, like your cezans, your wild fermented beers, even to a certain extent, your ipas, to pour off all but the last little bit in the bottle or can. It's not a safety issue, and it surely is not going to prevent you from shitting your brains out if you have 50 of them. But it is going to stop the yeast and collected hops from dropping into your beer, making it less pretty, I. [01:03:04] Speaker A: Was going to say, mainly helps with the presentation. [01:03:07] Speaker B: Well, and presentation is important, I maintain. But remember, there's also styles where the dregs are not only, like, present, they're mandatory and then the most quintessential one is, of course, the German Hefesen, where traditionally you roll the beer on the counter to stir up the yeast. A lot of breweries, when they sell a cake like that, they'll sell it upside down so that the bartender has to turn it over and disturb the yeast again. Those styles, it's part of the flavor. And as I've found out once again, opening a can of drecker, I don't recommend just with those heavily fruited things. You got to roll those along the counter too, just to get the fucking fruit back into solution. Because you got one glass, it's like, oh, that actually looks like a beer. And the second glass, like. And that just looks like I was. [01:04:15] Speaker A: Talking to a bar that had. [01:04:17] Speaker B: That looks like the beer shit. [01:04:18] Speaker A: That looks like the beer shit, that had that on. One of the dreckers on draft. [01:04:23] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [01:04:23] Speaker A: One of the slushies. Awful. They were like, dude, we had to have the psi crank so high on that beer just to get it to fucking four. [01:04:34] Speaker B: We had it on draft too, and we had to take it off, flush out the lines, and do that. We had to repeat that process several times just because the fucking thing would get clogged, for fuck's sakes. Drecker. A beer should contain beer, not beer and 50 pounds of mashed up fruit, God damn it. But people like it. This is turned from an assurance that the dregs are safe to yet us bitching about slushy beers again, which is only the right and proper way to end a podcast. Tyler, do you have anything else for us tonight? [01:05:18] Speaker A: That's it for me. [01:05:19] Speaker B: Well, this has been. It's all beer. If you want a picture of this sweet ass shirt and the dumpy looking man who is currently wearing it, you can check out our Instagram feed and our Facebook feed. I put some stuff up on there. Still in negotiations about whether or not this podcast is continuing after Tyler's triumphant casting off of the podcast for, I don't know, apparently more important things like working and raising a child, people have the priorities, I suppose. But once again, if you've got a proposal, you can send it to us at [email protected]. And for now, that'll be quite enough from us. I'm Jeremy Jones. [01:06:14] Speaker A: I'm Kyle Zimmerman. Ruman. [01:06:15] Speaker B: I'm going to drink, like, ten more beers and shit my brains out. [01:06:18] Speaker A: Have fun. Close.