[00:00:00] Speaker A: Um, Chinese brewery actually has pee in it.
[00:00:07] Speaker B: Why do they hate our freedoms and our beer, but mostly our freedoms?
[00:00:11] Speaker A: Why?
[00:00:11] Speaker B: American beer doesn't do well abroad.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: Surviving the purge of craft beer in the sea. Store.
[00:00:16] Speaker B: This is it's. All beer.
Welcome to it's. All beer. Rest assured that when a giant meteor is barreling towards Earth, we here will be discussing how the massive tidal waves and inevitable firestorm will affect the craft beer industry. Answer is a bit of a mixed bag. Rapid closures of many breweries around the country will help lower prices and help and open up new opportunities for those looking to get in the industry. Sharp labor shortage will increase wages across the board, but getting ingredients is going to be a bit of a bitch. I'm Jeremy Jones.
[00:00:49] Speaker A: I'm Kyler Zimmerman.
[00:00:51] Speaker B: Quick run.
[00:00:51] Speaker A: And you know what will have caused that meteor to strike us all?
[00:00:57] Speaker B: What?
[00:00:57] Speaker A: Hard Mountain Dew.
Because it'll be the sign that God can no longer love us as a planet.
[00:01:07] Speaker B: Then the end is nigh. Because if you were watching our social media feed, well, Tyler, nearly a week ago, sent me a text, and you can see the entirety of that text on Instagram or Facebook. But the crux of it is, hard Mountain Dew is finally in Idaho. They said it couldn't be done. They said it shouldn't be done. We actually begged it not to happen.
[00:01:40] Speaker A: And yet here it is, taking one for the team.
[00:01:45] Speaker B: We were supposed to do this together so that we could both have some. I'm sort of surprised that you didn't try to drop some off or something, but you're going to chug some.
[00:01:58] Speaker A: I would have had the time. I would have. Jeremy, I was kind of hoping you would stop at a gas station and buy one.
[00:02:06] Speaker B: I'm not going to put myself through that. Okay? I don't hate myself that much.
[00:02:12] Speaker A: All right, so I'm just going to give you a brief rundown of this experience. So it comes in a 24 ounce can. It's 5% alcohol by volume.
It has a Mountain dewed out fucking eagle. That's green and white on the thing. So very merricka know their target audience says Hard in big, bold letters. 21 plus all over the can.
The thing that gets me, and this is what really held me up when I went to buy it. Zero sugar. And I don't know if I believe that.
[00:02:52] Speaker B: Is that all Hard Mountain Dew or just the one you happen to get?
[00:02:58] Speaker A: I don't know. There was only two options at the gas station I bought it at. It was the Baja blast and the original. So I grabbed the original.
All right, well oh, fuck. It does not.
[00:03:20] Speaker B: Get a good shot of that. So we can get it on social media. Here we go. Tyler takes one for the team.
[00:03:32] Speaker A: You know what?
[00:03:32] Speaker B: For posterity, I went ahead and got several screenshots. I should have went ahead and just filmed it. I really should have just filmed it. But I think it actually might go better as a series of photos.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: That is not good.
And that's a lie that it says zero sugars. I didn't think something could be that like sugary sweet. It tastes that much like asshole.
I've had Hard Monster, and I would drink Hard Monster ten times out of ten before I drank that abomination.
[00:04:14] Speaker B: The hard monster was god fucking awful. But at least Monster, when you tasted.
[00:04:21] Speaker A: It, were like, yeah, that tastes like a monster. This you're like, that tastes nothing like Mountain Dew. And somehow it got worse than Mountain Dew.
I'm going to have to try another sip, but I don't want to.
[00:04:35] Speaker B: Well, hold on.
If you're going to do this to yourself, we might as well get it going for posterity again. All right, Tyler, you are alive. Take another hit of that hard Mountain Dew. This is especially the reaction is still as good as it was before.
[00:04:59] Speaker A: Have that cold, like shiver. It better, but by 0.1%.
[00:05:07] Speaker B: Very entertaining for the podcasting. For our podcast audience, you'll have to log on to an Instagram or check out our Facebook feed.
That is not good for the whole story. And this is not just a dramatic reenaction. I have a feeling this actually tastes like canned asshole.
[00:05:34] Speaker A: I've been the first to sit on this podcast and say I have an affinity for shit beer.
This is bad.
Not just bad. This is bad bad.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: Do your best to describe it for us. Give us a sousaw.
[00:05:53] Speaker A: It's like sugary. Thick and sweet, but not sweet, but very dry. And dries your mouth out.
And you have just a grain alcohol taste that went bad.
[00:06:13] Speaker B: At 5%, too. I mean, that's a bit shit. Because if you're going to do that to yourself, you might as well get shit hammered.
[00:06:21] Speaker A: And that thing was four fucking dollars for a fucking 24 ounce can. I'm like, yeah, I may not be a big fan of Voodoo Ranger, but go get that for like, $3. That's 9% for 19.2. And fucking get more bang for your buck with better.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: Text when you send that text. That Hard Mountain Dew was available in Idaho. I did check in to see if there was any updates on any of our normal news sources. And really nothing since earlier this year.
[00:07:09] Speaker A: I had knew it was coming because I had heard people in the industry say, oh, have you guys heard of this Blue Point, like, distributing?
And I'm like, yeah, that's Pepsi. That's hard. Mountain Dew. Apparently they have their own warehouse, their own staff. So they're trying to be that seems.
[00:07:32] Speaker B: Like a lot of money and stuff to be just for what is apparently something that tastes like what would happen if somehow soda like if you fermented.
[00:07:47] Speaker A: A smarty you know how it's kind of like chalky and it's like sweet and dry and chalky all at the same time. Yeah, if you fermented that and then let it expire.
[00:08:06] Speaker B: That's what I was looking for.
[00:08:11] Speaker A: I am so offended. Like, this is an abomination.
[00:08:20] Speaker B: We had discussed that. It was before you actually tasted it.
But not only that, but I'm willing to guess it's awful.
So that's what you're going to be drinking all day?
[00:08:37] Speaker A: Oh, no, I'm not fucking drinking any more of this shit. And the kill date on this motherfucker.
They're giving this bitch at least a year shelf life.
[00:08:50] Speaker B: Well, I doubt it's going to get.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: Much worse, apparently, but, yeah, the Best Buy date on the bottom of the cans, october 2024.
[00:09:02] Speaker B: But once again, what is in there that's going to go bad outside? Maybe the ruined souls of the damned that they captured for it to begin with.
[00:09:15] Speaker A: I don't even fucking know anymore.
[00:09:18] Speaker B: You're just apoplectic.
[00:09:20] Speaker A: Well, I want to head butt the first person I meet that says, I love Hard Mountain Dew.
[00:09:28] Speaker B: I am curious because that does suggest that somebody somewhere made that, took a drink, and then said out loud how it should taste to other humans.
Yep, that's exactly what we were going for. Let's sell that. That's the experience that we want other people to have in their mouth. What's happening to me. I want it now.
[00:09:52] Speaker A: If they evilly chuckled like, ha, I'm going to ruin someone else's day, I can forgive that because touche, great prank. You got nationally distributed for your fuck with someone.
But if you legitimately thought that was good, you should drink. Anaphrez.
[00:10:15] Speaker B: The story of this up till now, and I usually go back and try to find where the where those episodes are, but I'm frankly, I couldn't be buggered this time. But it was earlier this year.
But the whole thing did seem like if it wasn't for the sheer amount of money that they had poured into this, I'd say it was a joke.
[00:10:42] Speaker A: Well, the sad part, the gas station I bought this from, there were cans missing from the shelf spot.
[00:10:49] Speaker B: Well, I think that's what even we had described was the fact that, yeah, people will try it once. And by the way, I think the reviews that we read about online were like, yeah, it's kind of what you think, but it's worse.
You apparently would, like, politely disagree with that assessment.
[00:11:15] Speaker A: Fuck polite.
I would rather chug delicious IPA all day, every day than ever put this shit to my lips again.
[00:11:26] Speaker B: Wow. And if you're not familiar, that's pretty much the me converting to Mormonism, basically. And also, okay, I did look it up, actually. We did this story a year ago in December.
It came out on December 9 of last year.
Lost B Corp and hard times for Mountain Dew.
[00:12:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:03] Speaker B: Episode.
[00:12:06] Speaker A: I ain't trying anymore.
[00:12:08] Speaker B: No.
[00:12:09] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:12:12] Speaker B: I have no urge to do that at all.
[00:12:15] Speaker A: No, you have to know this pain now.
[00:12:18] Speaker B: I do not have to know. I can live the rest of my life happier, actually, in fact, no.
If you would like me that's right.
Hit us up on social media or send us an email at it's
[email protected].
[00:12:41] Speaker A: I will fucking waterboard you with it if you don't do it.
[00:12:45] Speaker B: If enough people voice their opinion that I should be drinking this to share in Tyler's pain, then I will consider it. But otherwise, you're gonna fuck that.
[00:12:58] Speaker A: I'll bring one to your fucking work tomorrow.
[00:13:01] Speaker B: You could do that, and it will stay at my fucking work.
[00:13:05] Speaker A: No, I will fucking give you once.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: It will find itself in a dumpster, is what's going to happen.
I, on the other hand, made a good decision because it is the last episode before Halloween. I grabbed the shipyards, smashed pumpkin because, yes, I still like pumpkin beers.
[00:13:26] Speaker A: Look, we're both drinking terrible beers.
[00:13:29] Speaker B: As much as Tyler's affinity for the shittiest beer that he can get his hands on, that's how I feel about pumpkin beer.
It's a love that only grows as people turn on the style.
This is, as best I can tell, kind of a pumpkin barley wine. It's amber in color.
It's got a really nice spicy nose, nice, smooth flavor, like some dark cherry or fruity characteristics.
Nice big spice content. It's a very smooth pumpkin pie beer. It's delicious.
[00:14:12] Speaker A: Nice.
Still think they all taste like shit, but yeah.
[00:14:21] Speaker B: If I could tell you, like, here, I can rewind time, and you have to drink this instead of Hard Mountain Dew, would you do that at this point in time, probably.
[00:14:32] Speaker A: But if you told Tyler now and I got to make the choice for past me, then yes. But if you told past me, I'd be like, fuck it. I want to see how hard Mountain Dew let's ride.
[00:14:44] Speaker B: But then, knowing what you know.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: Come.
[00:14:49] Speaker B: On, take one more big swig.
What's your backup? Are you drinking anything, then?
[00:14:56] Speaker A: No, I let it fucking ride. Jeremy.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: You are now sober for Hard Mountain Dew is, in fact, so bad that Tyler would rather do this podcast. How that's where we're at. Is that correct?
[00:15:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:12] Speaker B: Wow. All right. A damning indictment of Hard Mountain Dew.
[00:15:17] Speaker A: Tyler also, I had a couple beers at work before this, and so the fact that a couple beers in I'm like, this tastes that bad.
[00:15:31] Speaker B: Oh, that sounds like fun.
[00:15:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, speaking of absolutely atrocious beverages that taste like piss, oddly enough. Got to love how our devices all listen to us and the algorithms like, oh, hey, you talked about Corona being full of pee on that podcast you do with that other idiot.
[00:15:52] Speaker B: If that's what's happening, then the world is conspiring, because this popped up.
This started making the regular news for those who weren't who don't follow craft beer and beverage related news. This had creeped over. I had found stuff in the Guardian, and I was going to say, I.
[00:16:15] Speaker A: Got the notification and Reuters of the article from the Huffington Post and it's worker at Chinese brewery filmed ping in a tank.
And I was like, well, guess we got to cover this. We did.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: I mean, I don't know. The only reason I was interested is because so last week, Tyler put to rest the decades old rumor that Corona contained, shall we say, recycled beer.
And something about there was like a timing thing because the timing was perfect.
Well, it's just so amazingly like well, first of all, is there anything as timeless as the idea of pee being made into?
Like I feel like that's popped up. I've made jokes that budweiser is Clydesdale Piss. I think homeless person.
[00:17:24] Speaker A: Man. You've made a lot of pee jokes.
[00:17:26] Speaker B: Jeremy I feel like about every import, beer has been subjected to speculation as to its origin. I'm fairly certain that somewhere on some hieroglyphic is some dude having a good old waz in someone's beer jug and giggling as someone takes big drinks underneath. The words osiris beer contains resin from your underworld kidneys.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: Went a little too deep there, Jeremy.
[00:17:54] Speaker B: There's no such thing.
[00:17:57] Speaker A: So the China based brewery Xing Tao is now facing a whole shipstorm thanks.
[00:18:07] Speaker B: To a peace storm.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: True golden showers, man.
But a video was posted that shows someone in the outfit that most of their workers wear standing there and ping into one of the company's tanks.
[00:18:30] Speaker B: Did your source actually because it's amazing how careful all this so I read like three different stories about this and it was amazing. And I read it in the Guardian, the intell I forget there was a Guardian and something else.
But anyway, they were all very careful about how they put it.
It appeared he did. I popped up the video. It's hard to I don't see a stream, I was going to say.
[00:19:08] Speaker A: So this article had a still grab of it and it doesn't look like there is a stream, but I mean.
[00:19:17] Speaker B: The insider that I found that one. Yeah.
[00:19:20] Speaker A: The way the dude standing quartering away, hands by his crotch.
[00:19:30] Speaker B: He is in the universal position for don't bother me, I am peeing urinating. Yeah.
I am putting the pee in the ool as it was. Such as it was.
[00:19:46] Speaker A: So Zing Tao has not confirmed whether the culprit worked at the factory, which I'm like, okay, if it's like somehow that makes it worse. If some random got in there and was just like, dude, I'm going to piss in their beer, well, that person.
[00:20:05] Speaker B: Would have had to have broken in.
Either was wearing a uniform very similar to what the workers wear or stole.
So one of two things. I mean, both are fairly premeditated. Either that guy found the uniform and wore it in or he stole one. Either way, well done.
Assuming that he's not a worker.
[00:20:35] Speaker A: According to the BBC, though, after speaking with a Chinese language business publication, they claim neither the person who urinated in the tank or the person who took the video were direct employees of the brewery.
[00:20:53] Speaker B: Well, the video was taken from outside the brewery.
That came from the Guardian, which is also part of it. They're not exactly sure who got the video or their exact circumstance, although they know is, given the position, they were basically peeking in a window somewhere.
[00:21:19] Speaker A: Did you see what the tank was? I'm like, Is this like a mash ton?
[00:21:25] Speaker B: Well, they say it was basically a storage container for barley, so I actually did track down the video. What it shows is basically a guy climbs into a large metal bin that looks a bit like a large dumpster, but without, well, previously less urine. It's just a great big metal box with assuming barley. It's some sort of grain. And then he stands straight with his arms in aiming position. And again, I did watch it several times before I caught myself going, dude, do not watch this. Like it's the goddamn Zebra film. What the hell's the matter with you?
But he is standing in the most awkward way possible around anything that is food stuffs.
[00:22:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
The brewery did release a statement saying that batch of malt in the tank had been sealed off from use and that urination had been reported at the first opportunity.
And they have spoke with public security authorities to try to track down this person and bring them to justice.
[00:22:43] Speaker B: I also got a quote that they added. Quote, our company continues to increase management efforts to ensure product quality and welcomes consumer supervision. To which I go, well, yeah, you're just using pea shyness against them. Just some guy in the dude. Dude. I can't go when you watch.
[00:23:04] Speaker A: Some of the article I found, had some comments from social media oh, God. That they put on it.
This was my favorite because I've always said the beer here is like horse piss. Turns out I was wrong.
[00:23:24] Speaker B: I mean, quality, yeah, quality. Well, different species, but yes.
[00:23:31] Speaker A: Someone else goes, thanks, I'll just stick with wine.
[00:23:34] Speaker B: Oh, you don't want to know what they do to the wine.
[00:23:39] Speaker A: But apparently it tanked their stock price for a little while on Monday when this came out, but ended up recovering by the afternoon.
[00:23:51] Speaker B: It tanked the stock price. So that meant that for a brief period, that waz cost people millions of dollars.
[00:24:04] Speaker A: Most expensive piss ever.
Like when you go to piss on a road trip and you go into the Podunk gas station and they're like, Bathrooms only for customers. What are you buying? And you're like, Fine, I'll buy this $8 pack of gum here's.
[00:24:23] Speaker B: $5. For the love of God, I'm going.
[00:24:26] Speaker A: To pee on the floor right now if you don't let me in there.
[00:24:29] Speaker B: That's where you just kind of sit there with your arms crossed and, like, look them in the eye and go, yes, this is happening.
[00:24:38] Speaker A: You stand in that position and go. You know what this means with dark.
[00:24:43] Speaker B: Spots spreading across your huh? Yep, I did that. I have to live in shame. But you know what? I don't have to clean it up. Thank you. Have a good day.
[00:24:56] Speaker A: That's how Jeremy ended up in jail.
[00:25:01] Speaker B: I'm not going to drop just is it illegal to piss yourself in public? I don't I no, but whip it.
[00:25:10] Speaker A: Out and pee on the cheetos.
[00:25:11] Speaker B: It is cheetos. Cheetos your pants.
[00:25:16] Speaker A: I thought you said cheetos. I was like, damn, that's like a targeted offense right there.
[00:25:23] Speaker B: No, I apparently be shooting for the Hard Mountain Dew.
It might improve it.
[00:25:32] Speaker A: Gary, what do you got?
[00:25:36] Speaker B: Europeans reject the freest beer in the world news now.
I think that I'm far from being out of line when I say that it's a consensus of really all humanity that America does everything better.
We are just better at everything.
Look at our list of diabetes. Yeah, exactly. Look at that. Like, leader in diabetes and Hard Mountain Dew.
Number of flags on the moon still winning. There number of people that went to the moon, allegedly. Number of conspiracy theories about, you know, we're still there as long as by education mean the ability to gun down one's own classmates, but education nonetheless.
[00:26:30] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:26:32] Speaker B: We're the most prosperous country. We've made sure that we've wisely made sure that only like five people have all the money so they won't piss it away on something like shelter and food.
Number one, baby. Number one.
You just give money to random people, they're just going to just drop it on things they need, as opposed to a billionaire who's going to send a car into space for no fucking.
[00:26:59] Speaker A: Penis shaped rocket ship.
So it stands to try to impregnate the moon with America.
[00:27:08] Speaker B: It's going to crack in half and the Statue of Liberty is going to come out and go, yeah, biatch it's crowding.
So it stands that the rest of the world would be dying to have a burst of real freedom juice shot right down their socialism holes. But surprisingly, surprisingly, you like, that.
[00:27:32] Speaker A: Podcast has gone to hell.
[00:27:37] Speaker B: American beer has yet to really take off anywhere in Europe. This comes from a Vine Pair article by Will Hawks.
Now he starts out and references several times perhaps the most famous transatlantic flop, stone Brewery's, ill fated German brewery that they ended up having to sell that to brew dogs, who have actually, according to this article, and also by accounts I looked up later have made a decent run of it so far. Brewdogs as the article suggests.
In retrospect, they kind of are Euro stone.
The article even kind of basically call out brew dogs as kind of like aping what Stone was doing in the United States all along, basically just trying to catch up. And it sort of makes sense. That same anti corporate bad boy image run by strange fetishists stone was run by a guy who seemed to get off on litigation by the end. And James Watt, well, his rooftop proclivity well documented here. Maybe that's what made the formerly Stone Brewery in Berlin such a success. They didn't build a rooftop fuck studio, and so he couldn't go up there to get his jollies. And the place has done well as a result.
But yet there is a demand. At the London Craft Beer Festival, there was this sense that European drinkers, much like American beer drinkers, they're always on the lookout for the next new thing. And I recently had it verified when a friend of mine ran off to Denmark and brought back some of the beer they had. I think it was Copenhagen.
There's at least one brewery there that makes a respectable hazy IPA.
[00:29:41] Speaker A: Oh, damn.
[00:29:42] Speaker B: Like, better than most of the hazy's in this state. Sorry, Idaho.
None of you guys do really well, go to Montana. Listen, I don't do them worth a damn, and that's fine. They all taste a bit like weedy orange juice.
[00:30:00] Speaker A: But I remember first time going to Montana for work, and I was like, oh, I'll do this hazy of this random brewery I haven't had before at this bar. Yeah. And then I was like, what the fuck is this?
[00:30:16] Speaker B: What the fuck was it?
[00:30:17] Speaker A: I can't even remember. I blocked.
[00:30:19] Speaker B: It was my favorite one. I think we did it on this podcast. I couldn't tell you what episode, but I grabbed McCall Brewing's Hazy Jones.
[00:30:31] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:30:32] Speaker B: And I poured it into a glass. And I'm going, that is not an IPA. That is an amber ale. To the point where I actually got a hold of the sales rep at the time and asked if there was some mistake, if they had they knew about a packaging mistake or something where their mackinac red got packages, the Hazy Jones. And he was kind of confused, like, well, no, there's really no way that could have happened.
And I kind of described that. He goes, well, no, it's supposed to be a hazy IPA. I'm like, okay. And a few months later, I went up to McCall and went to the brewery and ordered the Hazy Jones. And out came the same fucking beer.
It was a nice amber ale, but I kind of did want to find the brewer at that point in time. Like, describe a hazy IPA to me.
Just tell me what you think it is.
[00:31:40] Speaker A: Because one of us is not on the right page.
[00:31:43] Speaker B: Because one of us is wrong.
I feel like it's you, because I feel like every other hazy IPA is more what I think it is. But I really want to settle this.
But anyway, my point is there is demand.
And so one might ask, well, what's the holdup? Now, one of the big culprits that I remember during the autopsy of Stone Berlin was the fact that in Germany, the beer is fucking cheap. Like they have world class breweries, they churn out some of the best lagers in the world, and they cost less than Natty Ice does here.
Compete with that stone. I dare you.
[00:32:27] Speaker A: They can't.
They can't even compete in the United States anymore.
[00:32:34] Speaker B: But Brew Dogs has made it work and seemingly not altered things all that much. As near as I can tell, it's slightly more expensive to drink at Brew Dogs Berlin than your average beer dispensing establishment.
But they've made it work. So there is a demand for those, even in Germany, for beer with different flavors, for people who are willing to explore. So again, you kind of go, okay, so why doesn't American beer do well over there? And there is a few ideas that are play. The first.
[00:33:09] Speaker A: They hate Americans.
[00:33:11] Speaker B: Well, because they hate well, obviously.
Well, the first obvious barrier is the physical one, that fucking ocean.
It's expensive to get beer across it, and the beer is not as good as it was when it gets over there in some cases.
But a lot of it is also, as I kind of alluded before, to the Haysi IPA in Denmark. Europeans have really upped their game considerably, and they've gotten away from the typical run of loggers. They've done a lot more with American hops. In fact, imports of hops in Europe was over 7.5 million tons last year, and it's been increasing about 11% every year.
And I got to say that Hazy IPA out of there was like, yeah, I put that up. Is it the best hazy IPA I've ever had. No.
Is it a decent representation of the style? Yeah.
And by the way, if you can make it there, you can then sell it for cheaper. And it'll also probably be fresher and higher quality too.
It's one of the draws about craft beer that people seem to forget it's local, it's fresh, it's local, all that stuff, that original selling point that people kind of lose and like, oh, yeah, that was one of the things we were talking about.
The other thing is that they are, for obvious reasons, better adapted to make beer that suit European tastes, which was another thing that brought down Stone. Thomas Terrell, who was the head brewer at Stone Berlin, quoted the article, quote, it was too strict, it was too focused on IPAs and other styles popular in America. The German market was not ready at that point.
And BrewDog now offers several German lagers along with the IPAs, and the IPAs, and the Imperial IPAs, and the Hazy IPAs, and the Belgian IPAs, and the Red IPAs, and Black IPAs, and you get the idea.
[00:35:29] Speaker A: And the cross country IPAs. Yeah.
[00:35:33] Speaker B: Now, this can be mitigated somewhat if you got the right distribution channels. The problem is that most of those channels are closed to a craft brewery. For example, all Day IPA is available in Spanish supermarkets because of their corporate daddy, Mahau Brooklyn brewing is all around England because Carlsburg owns the brand rights to Brooklyn brewing in Europe.
And that's a problem because for any brewery that the Brewers Association would recognize as a craft brewery, the doors are largely closed to them. Lot PEPLO, the BA's ambassador in Europe, was quoted, quote, the availability of imported craft beer is hindered by access to the market. These dominant players can make it more difficult for smaller craft breweries, imported and domestic alike.
And in the end, what's happening where American beer is right now is a bit like where European beers were in this country circa 1020 years ago, which is to say, there is a demand.
[00:36:44] Speaker A: But.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: You'Re going to be paying a higher price point. And so if you're going to do that, it's going to be something special you buy as a treat. It's not going to be your daily drinker.
You'll get a six pack of whatever your favorite lager is, and then, oh, they have a bottle of Haze somehow they probably get Alchemists there easier than we do and grab that for like $10 or something.
But that's basically where American craft beer is there at the moment.
While the BA is looking to increase opportunities for breweries that don't have corporate ties, it's a hard run. So really you're kind of back at craft beer is kind of local and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
[00:37:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I was going to say, I don't get what the push behind going over to Europe as an American craft brewery. There's such a broader, more rich brewing history over there.
How are you going to compete, not to mention the added cost of shipping it over?
[00:38:19] Speaker B: Well, at one point in time, American beer did do extremely well there. That was one thing I did forget to mention was that I think at what we consider the height of craft beer here was when a lot of Europeans started waking up to, holy shit, those crazy Americans are doing weird shit with beer, and it's actually pretty good. And so there really was briefly a big demand for American craft beer in Europe because it was different.
You mentioned the brewing tradition, but on some level that actually held them back because it was all about tradition. And you go to one of these old German breweries and like, hey, do you want to throw some fucking Fruit Loops and strawberry in there?
That guy's going to beat your ass with a Mash paddle.
While screaming about the Jews. For some reason.
[00:39:26] Speaker A: As he's screaming at you in German, you're like, I don't know if he's just speaking a normal sentence or if he's yelling at me.
[00:39:33] Speaker B: It's a beautiful language. It's a beautiful language I can't do I know what the fuck that was. I was like, I'm going to speak German Gibberish, and I'm not sure what actually came out. And then I aborted that idea because I feel like I've already just like the.
[00:39:51] Speaker A: Germans tried to with imperfections.
[00:39:58] Speaker B: I think a lot of the push is American craft beer still trying to chase a market that was there that may not be there anymore because people over there got a taste of what American craft beer was like. They looked around and said, shit, but we can do that here. And they largely are.
Again, my friend who went to Copenhagen said there were somewhere along the lines like a hundred craft beer places in that it's it's it's in full swing there.
You can get more good beer there than you could have previously and previously it was even extremely good. So Tyler, what do you got for us?
[00:40:49] Speaker A: Well, how are bigger and more like regional and national craft breweries going to weather the storm that is no one likes beer anymore.
[00:41:01] Speaker B: Let's see.
Make it non alcoholic, release cocktails and then piss in a Mountain Dew and sell it in a big can.
[00:41:12] Speaker A: Close.
This article from Vine Pear by David Fonte actually talks about how sea stores may be the kind of safe haven in the storm that is happening right now with craft beer.
[00:41:31] Speaker B: We had this whole thing before the podcast started, but you say C store. Explain what the hell that is.
[00:41:38] Speaker A: Convenience store bodega basically any place you're popping in and out of to try to grab something quick, easy.
You know you're going to pay a little more money for it than if you were to go to the standard grocery store. But this is just right around the block, so you'll pay a little extra for the convenience, which is what the.
[00:42:02] Speaker B: C stand for, convenience.
With this whole thing, you said something about C store and it took me a second. Like, convenience, that's not a thing. And you swore up and down like, no, that's what everybody calls it. Like, nobody's ever called it this is the first time anybody's called it a C store.
Now, maybe not in marketing. This is like a marketing jargon, I believe.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: No, it's industry jargon. You ask any rep, they'll know it's fucking college.
In college, before I was in the industry, not once people would be like, did I let's go to the C store.
[00:42:47] Speaker B: There's not once where any of my friends said, let's go to the C store. Because I would have been like, no, I'm not down with your g funkity funkity. I am not down with your groove hipster, daddy o.
Speak Christian, god damn it.
[00:43:06] Speaker A: But if you have called it a Sea store or know what I was talking about, please let Jeremy know that he is an imbecile.
[00:43:17] Speaker B: Tell me to chug a hard Mountain Dew.
[00:43:20] Speaker A: So the article gets in talking about know as beer bars and bottle shops are closing. Draft beer is in the shitter and back in the heyday. Craft beer would have never been like, let's be in a C store. Let's be in a convenience store and be proud about it?
[00:43:46] Speaker B: Well, I think two things were at play there. First of all, they didn't want to be at a convenience store because convenience stores didn't sell good beer. But also convenience stores didn't want them because who the fuck want no, we sell stuff to hobos so they can go pass out in a ditch. Why do we want to sell? They're not going to buy something tasty.
[00:44:11] Speaker A: Well, the data now is showing that Sea stores are basically the shining beacon of otherwise the shit horizon.
Craft is down in all channels except for convenience.
According to Stephanie Rotis of Three Tier Beverages and craft beer in the convenience channel sold $97 million last year. And the growth isn't solely from rising prices of craft beer like it is in other segments.
Yes, the increase is partially due to the rising prices of the beer but volume is also trailing on that trendline and so they're noticing quite the uptick coming through on actual volume sales.
[00:45:10] Speaker B: Well, it makes sense that you're seeing an increase there because it's not that craft beer was entirely absent from the convenience store depending on which one you were going to and where you lived. To be quite frankly, it wasn't exactly a bottle shop but you could find something adjacent to you could find usually the local powerhouses, an IPA from Oregon that's been coalescing on the shelf for a year and a half and the Imperial Voodoo Ranger. But there also kind of ties into what I think is leading the charge.
[00:45:56] Speaker A: 100% is but also part of what's leading the charge, especially in states where RTDs and Spirits aren't able to be sold in the grocery stores or that is convenience stores offer people who are willing to a customer base will have people who are willing to pay a little bit more and especially if it has that perceived value. And you don't have to worry about competing against some of those RTD spirit can cocktails. You don't have to compete against some of the seltzers it's offered. Beer a slight refuge almost with the changing industry.
[00:46:56] Speaker B: For once, the completely insane alcohol laws across the country have sort of conspired to help craft beer in a relatively minor way.
[00:47:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
And in the article, they actually talked to several gas station owners who were like, hey, craft beer is something we have to have. Because if we have craft beer and the gas station across the street doesn't, the craft beer drinker is going to come over here, grab some gas, grab some beer on their way to wherever they're going that they need beer for instead of stopping next door.
[00:47:39] Speaker B: That's fair.
[00:47:42] Speaker A: But typically these gas stations don't have huge beer sets like some of the bigger grocery stores. So it can be very competitive.
And single serve is kind of the supreme commander of the gas mean.
[00:48:01] Speaker B: Once again, Voodoo Ranger didn't lead that charge. I'm not sure I started noticing like single serving 19 two packaging of some craft beer a little bit before that. I want to say like probably the first one I saw was maybe Sierra Nevada's Pale.
[00:48:22] Speaker A: Yeah, but Voodoo is the one that saved 19 two S. But I mean, even in gas stations, you're looking at 22 and 24 ounce cans of your domestics. Your other options not just 19 two S, but 19 two S are kind of predominantly like if you're going to buy a craft single serve at a gas station, it's going to be in that 19 two format.
And the single serve pack size this year is up 1.2 million cases in the convenience channel.
The next best growth in that channel belongs to twelve packs, which are up 187,000 cases.
[00:49:11] Speaker B: I mean, it does explain why everybody is releasing their version of it. You've got Rogue Rebranding dead guy to chase the voodoo ranger, and they just came out with their imperial IPA.
The Imperial dead Guy 19 two.
The Hell Black Raven out of Washington released the Mecca Raven at a 19 two and by far the dumbest. It's a good beer, I actually like it. But the dumbest cash grab I watched was Whitmere's Imperial Hefen.
[00:49:53] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, I think that got discoed.
[00:49:56] Speaker B: Probably did.
I don't think the liquid itself was okay, but it was a pretty obvious cash grab.
[00:50:08] Speaker A: Yeah, but it talks about how typically the best sellers in the convenience channel are your hazy IPA. Hazy Imperial IPA and really just offering that bang for the buck with something like the Voodoo Ranger fruit Force hazy IPA nine and a half percent. The big flavors in that can cover up some of the harsh alcohol notes. But if you think about it, if it's sitting there and there's a steel reserve at 8% right next to this Voodoo Ranger at 9%, and they're about the same price, you're going to lean towards that Voodoo Ranger over the steel.
[00:50:52] Speaker B: Reserve, especially if it's twice the price. I mean, steel reserve is garbage.
[00:51:02] Speaker A: Yeah, so it's really helping with that because I feel out of any of the off premise your grocery store, your convenience channel, your bottle shops, your off premise customer is a lot more price sensitive customer because they're going home to drink at home, so they want to get the best perceived value. And so that's why we're seeing the higher alcohol doing so much better in those channels.
[00:51:36] Speaker B: It makes a weird kind of sense, but it's interesting to me that in all other, and this might be more to the point that you've been making, which is trying to find Imperial IPA as a style.
I wouldn't say it's dying, but it's becoming a rare thing because it's just not nearly as prominent as it was five years ago or so. Except for 19 two S.
[00:52:11] Speaker A: That is the format.
[00:52:13] Speaker B: It is almost like in a weird way that we all just sort of agreed as an industry without really having a meeting that like twelve ounce was your flagship, 16oz was for your special IPAs. Yeah, hazy IPAs are special releases, and 19 two, that's for your Imperial IPA. It's one of those rules that's kind of being written as we speak. No one can really explain why other than that's what sells, and that's why you do it.
It's a weird bout of psychology when you realize that the consumer says, well, I don't really want a big IPA because I'll get too fuckered up unless it's in a big ass can. Because if I'm going to get fuckered up, I want to be one and done. I want to drink all of this can in one sitting and pass out in the bathtub.
[00:53:11] Speaker A: Well, it's basically customers admitting they don't have the self control. If you sell me 612 ounce cans, I'm going to drink all six.
So by saying, yeah, we took the same boozy thing, and then we only put it in one can. But that can is basically two cans. But you only get one.
You're like. Okay, I'm only drinking one.
[00:53:40] Speaker B: Isn't American psychology fun?
[00:53:43] Speaker A: I'm only drinking the rumor that went around that I can't remember what burger Chain apparently tried to do. It the third pound burger to compete against McDonald's quarter pound. But Americans didn't want to buy it because they thought they were getting less food because three smaller than a four. Yeah.
[00:54:06] Speaker B: Top education system. Top. I didn't hear that. I have to go back. I have to look that up.
[00:54:12] Speaker A: Now, how true that is, I don't know.
[00:54:15] Speaker B: But it's one of those things that it's believable. It speaks to a truth even if it's not true.
[00:54:22] Speaker A: Yes, but at the end of the day, convenience stores aren't going to be like a saving grace for small upstart breweries just because the cost to get in there and the barriers are going to be too high. But for those breweries approaching, that no Man's Land or the more regional players, like convenience is that way to jump up to the next level or really start making up for sagging taproom sales or anything like that. It's basically the next hot avenue for the bigger breweries.
And as that continues to grow, the opportunities for smaller breweries to get in.
[00:55:11] Speaker B: Are going to grow excellent. Well, if you're so big that you're going to collapse at any moment, get your ass into a 19 two in a convenience store.
[00:55:27] Speaker A: 9% cheap, baby.
[00:55:29] Speaker B: Yeah. You're going to make a 9% beer in a 19 two, ideally for like three or $4 a can.
[00:55:37] Speaker A: That is something you can chug in about a minute.
[00:55:40] Speaker B: Yeah. Also, it needs to be loaded down with malt or some other flavoring so that you can't taste it.
The idea, I believe, is white girl wasted. That's what you're looking for.
[00:55:55] Speaker A: Think when white girls were chugging four locos. That's what you're shooting for.
[00:56:04] Speaker B: Both before and after my time. Tyler, you'll have to someday fill me in on exactly what that was like.
[00:56:14] Speaker A: It was simpler times back then.
Gary, what have we got?
[00:56:24] Speaker B: Quick update on our way out about the gentleman out in Britain who was sinking 2000 pints in 200 days.
[00:56:39] Speaker A: One quick thing that I wanted to bring up, not even thinking, saw something talking about this, and I'm like, yeah, that's kind of impressive. And then I saw something that was talking about how it's great that American craft beer is starting to embrace the British Imperial pint with their cans. Because the British Imperial pint is not 16oz, it's 19.2oz.
[00:57:08] Speaker B: Is that right?
[00:57:10] Speaker A: And then I was like, well, holy fuck. That dude who's drinking 2000 pints in 200 days, he's not drinking 2016 ounce pints, he's drinking 2019.2 ounce pints, which.
[00:57:28] Speaker B: Is only a three ounce difference. But when you scale that over 2000 of them, we're talking 6000 extra ounces, which is a lot of beer.
[00:57:39] Speaker A: I'm figuring out the math.
[00:57:41] Speaker B: Okay?
Please wait while Tyler does math.
[00:57:44] Speaker A: Continue?
As you were. Jeremy.
[00:57:49] Speaker B: The big update was the big question was after drinking essentially ten beers every day, and it doesn't sound like that was quite how it worked out. Because one news source that I found said that he had drunk 22 beers on the last day, which that is a fuckload of beer.
[00:58:19] Speaker A: Just to put in perspective, his equivalent on 16 ounce pints would be 2400 over the 200 days.
[00:58:34] Speaker B: Listen, I've gone on some pretty epic whole day benders, all right? I'm not sure I've drunk 22 beers during that time. I'm not saying I haven't. I'm usually not counting, and if I am, then I fail after a while.
[00:58:54] Speaker A: Yeah, there's so many tricks. Like a check mark putting the tabs in your pocket, and then you wake up and there's just tabs everywhere. It looks like you just tried to give yourself a tattoo.
The best way is a wizard staff, but then you break it and throw it at someone. Get off my lawn.
[00:59:16] Speaker B: I'm not sure if I've ever drunk 22 pints in a single sitting.
I probably have had 22 drinks, as my experience with the ISP Wet Labs taught me last night.
[00:59:32] Speaker A: I'm so bummed I couldn't go to that.
My wife said if she can't go, I can't go, because she really wants to do one. So let me know if you ever get invited again and we will try to be there because I am so.
[00:59:47] Speaker B: Bummed everybody else listening might be a little bit confused. Okay, so here's what happens.
[00:59:55] Speaker A: You're doing your civic duty, getting drunk on the state's dollar.
[01:00:00] Speaker B: I did my patriotic duty and I went down to our local police academy and got drunk for science and for Jesus so they could practice their field sobriety tests. It was me, a bunch of friends, my wife, my sister in law and my brother in law. Here are the highlights.
My wife got the highest BAC.
She clocked in at zero just behind my sister in law, who clocked in at but she was the sloppiest because she doesn't drink.
I could probably count on one hand the Apollo. At times, she's really gone after it, and this was one of those times. And she turns into a sloppy drunk to the point where they actually stopped testing her.
[01:01:10] Speaker A: You're in jail now.
[01:01:11] Speaker B: So here's the way it works.
You go to the police academy. They bring you into a conference room. There's a little bar set up. And in Idaho, the liquor stores are state run, and so the liquor comes from those liquor stores that they can't sell. So there's top notch shit there.
I was chugging some top shelf tequila all night, which is also a detriment because that goes down way too easy for me. But more on that later.
Then after about an hour, they take you to a gym. They set you in a chair, and then you're just a test subject for row after row of proto officers. They're cute. They're kids.
They're in their 20s. But you're like, AW, you guys are cute.
Step out of the car.
Step out of the car, please, sir.
You're so adorable.
Beep on your nose.
[01:02:14] Speaker A: Tell me you booped one of their noses.
[01:02:17] Speaker B: I did not. But there was one poor guy who was struggling a little bit.
[01:02:26] Speaker A: If you show an ounce of weakness to drunk people there to get drunk.
[01:02:35] Speaker B: He was doing the finger eye test. They had a name for it. I don't remember what the name for it was because I was hammered.
But there was something specifically that he was looking for, and he said he didn't see, but there was, like, two trainees next to him like, oh, no, I think I saw it. No, I think I saw it. You should test them again. You should test them again. And I'm just like, you should test me again. He's like, not you too, buddy.
I'll be in the other two. There was one person that's giving the test at a given time and two others that are kind of observing, and at some point in time, me. And the people helping him are her heckling him.
And it's hard to maintain order when the guy giving the drunk test is like, you're doing a shit job.
[01:03:26] Speaker A: I'm going to get this guy.
[01:03:28] Speaker B: The results were so the funny thing was and then after that, they take you into a classroom, and they display your results.
Well, they basically say okay, to each team, would you have arrested this person? And then they display your results. And I am proud to say, well, for my sister in law, you would have survived. For my sister in law, they didn't even bother.
Basically, they polled everybody like, all right, team one, yes. Team two, no. Team three, yes. Et cetera, et cetera. When it came to my sister in law, they just said, I'm just going to fill out everybody's answer here because at one point in time, she's laying down on the ground doing the nose test, which is not a test. They actually did, um, I'm proud to say that not only did I drink eleven shots of tequila clocked in at 1.15.
[01:04:39] Speaker A: Nice.
[01:04:40] Speaker B: One of those groups would have let me off.
[01:04:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
So proud of you, Jeremy.
[01:04:48] Speaker B: I was about middle of the road BAC, but I was at top of my class when it came to sheer amount of pints. And you could tell that they were having trouble with me because there was a whole lot of whispering in the background going, I can't tell.
[01:05:03] Speaker A: They're like, Where do you work at again? And you're like, don't worry about it.
[01:05:08] Speaker B: It was a fun time had by all. So if you do get the opportunity, yeah, go do your civic duty. I guess you just have to be able to hold your shit.
There is a purpose to, oh, I've.
[01:05:26] Speaker A: Wanted to get a bunch of beer reps together and we all go do it together and place bets on where everyone's going to finish.
[01:05:35] Speaker B: But back to the UK guy, which is where this all started.
The big question was, after 2000 pints, what do you do after that? He originally said he was going to take a couple of weeks off, but as many news sources proclaimed this week, he got right back on that horse. The next morning he was back at the pub.
Some reports I said, I thought he said like 10:00 A.m., which okay, yeah, that tracks.
It's also a little disturbing how many news sources are just starting to go, and this is unhealthy because alcohol really is a poison and it's going to cause this health problem. This health problem. This problem like, yeah, we know what he's doing is dumb, but let him do it. But he's heart. Listen, he's not the first Englishman to kill his liver with booze, okay? It's a national pastime. Leave the man alone.
[01:06:37] Speaker A: He won't be the last either.
[01:06:39] Speaker B: The only thing different about this guy versus his predecessor, he's just doing it on fucking TikTok, okay?
He's not the first Englishman to have drunk 2000 pints in 200 days, okay?
[01:06:56] Speaker A: I'm sure there's probably one who did it in 100.
[01:06:58] Speaker B: You know what, I don't know what the record is, but it's more than 2000.
I would willing to guess it's 4000. I have no data on that, but I feel like that's a reasonable assumption.
There is a bloke out there who drinks 20 pints a day and thinks.
[01:07:16] Speaker A: Nothing of it and would probably be let off by more than just one group of Boise police.
[01:07:25] Speaker B: Yeah, there's the other thing.
He would have fooled them all.
[01:07:32] Speaker A: They do a breathalyzer at the end and they're like, we need to recalibrate this.
[01:07:37] Speaker B: My favorite part was at one point in time, so they do have an instructor who's giving them pointers, et cetera, et cetera. But at one point in time, they kind of took him aside and said something, blah, blah, blah. And this guy's a cheater, so you'll have to do I'm like, Wait, did you just say I was a cheater?
[01:07:56] Speaker A: How the fuck am I cheating?
[01:07:57] Speaker B: I can't be sure, but I think what he was referring to was the fact that, listen, I was in it to win, man. Okay?
Whenever a new group came up, I was really trying to pass the test, and so I was following their directions exactly, even to the detriment of I was following their directions exactly. Even the guy who so the you know they were in a gymnasium, right?
And, you know, then one of the tests is, of course, to walk a straight line, heel, toe.
If you're a drinker, you're familiar with this test, and most of them just picked any number of straight lines in a gymnasium. It's a basketball court, so pick your straight line. But there was one guy who picked the three point line, which even I know is not a straight line.
[01:09:00] Speaker A: Please tell me you lost the arc.
[01:09:06] Speaker B: Well, he says well, he gives me instructions. He's like, okay, I want you to walk this line. You need to walk straight along this line. Do you understand?
I don't why don't you understand? This line isn't straight. Then he looks and seems to notice it for the first time. Like, this poor kid was flustered as hell.
Just walk straight. I'm like, all right. Not walking a line at all.
[01:09:35] Speaker A: I'm going to win that court case.
Probably just a walk. What was my mark of whether it was a straight line?
[01:09:49] Speaker B: That guy is probably going to become an ISP officer. He's going to listen to this. He's going to bust me like, well, look who it is.
Mr. What's a straight line. Out of the car.
[01:10:04] Speaker A: Hands on your head. Is that a gun?
[01:10:12] Speaker B: My comeuppance may well be nigh. Tyler, anything else for us today?
I'm not sure why the UK story became the excuse for me to talk about that I was going to do at the beginning, but I felt the intro was too much. And then the UK story just like, you know what? Yes, I'm going to tell that story now. So that was the kind of twofer that's bottom line. The guy went right back to beer, and I got to get drunk on public funds. So it was a good day all around.
[01:10:42] Speaker A: It was a good day fucking freeloader.
[01:10:46] Speaker B: And based on that, I wasn't feeling bad. I could probably drink ten shots of tequila every day for 200 days.
[01:10:57] Speaker A: You can't afford to drink ten shots of that tequila every day.
[01:11:01] Speaker B: I was not feeling great. I was feeling much better than either my wife or my sister in law, I bet, who works in the medical field and had to go to work.
[01:11:16] Speaker A: I would love to, but I have work. And then I was like, who would we get to watch the kid? I tell my wife and she's like, oh, fuck no. You're not going without me. She's like, but I can't take that day off work. I was like, damn, just bullshit.
[01:11:34] Speaker B: I'll keep you posted in case another one pops up.
And if you would like to be part the funny thing is, I did invite a lot of industry people, but not one of them showed up.
[01:11:46] Speaker A: Well, also it was on a fucking Wednesday night.
[01:11:49] Speaker B: Show. This on the Wednesday. I get it. But I was hoping to get more industry people down here because I feel that would have been fun.
There had been the amateurs and then the professionals, right? I was the only person in the professional class. But people either got sick or had to work or some shit.
[01:12:13] Speaker A: It happens.
Bastards.
[01:12:17] Speaker B: But yeah, good times. Tyler, anything else for us today?
[01:12:22] Speaker A: No, that's it for me.
[01:12:24] Speaker B: Well, this has been it's all beer. If you also run a state agency and need people to get drunk on taxpayer money, let us know. We're always game. You can get a hold of us at
[email protected] and also hit up that if you want me to drink a Hard Mountain Dew, I'm still against it. But I will consider it.
If people are, like, pressing for it. You can also throw that on our social medias.
We're on Facebook and Instagram. Check that out for not only some updates and some fun pictures, but for the photo mosaic of pain that is Tyler drinking a Hard Mountain Dew.
[01:13:12] Speaker A: It was not fun.
[01:13:15] Speaker B: It's going to be right up there with like I think I should get the Andy Warhol painting of faces with different colors. I think I'm going to put that together.
Except for you in various stages of tasting Hard Mountain Dew and just call it, I don't know, an ode to pain.
[01:13:39] Speaker A: Well, I knew it was going to be bad when I smelt it. And I was like, that smells nothing like Mountain Dew. This is not good.
[01:13:51] Speaker B: Check out that. That's going to be coming your way.
I think I'll have some of it up when this episode comes out. Might trickle some out later. Like a waz in a Chinese beer.
That'll be quite enough from us. I'm Jeremy Jones.
[01:14:11] Speaker A: I'm Tyler Zimmerman.
[01:14:12] Speaker B: I'm going to have a beer.
[01:14:14] Speaker A: Have fun.
